5 Ways Living in Japan Made Me A Better Person
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
Hi there Stylish People,
Living abroad is something I can recommend to anyone. Discovering new things and discovering yourself is so important to becoming a better version of you. When I moved to Japan in 2014 I had no idea what was about to happen to me and what I would end up doing. Let me share some things I realized and what can help you become a better version of you.
Confidence
Back in secondary school I was quite shy and introverted. After entering university, I realized I wanted to turn this around. The best way I would become more confident was to face my fear and put myself in positions that were uncomfortable. Moving abroad will definitely put you in situations out of your comfort zone. The great thing about this discomfort is that you learn how to adapt quickly in different situations, making feel more comfortable which is key in being confident.
Another way I built confidence is to become good at specific things. Pick things that you think you can become good at and work on them. I like to think I am a kind person, and this is an important factor for being a social person. I chose to become less shy by realizing that This is important and that I already possess this ‘skill’. Pick things that you can improve easily, because skill automatically results in confidence. This also helped me become a better version of me. Living in Japan meant living in a place where I know less people. Socializing is required to get a more comfortable life, hence why I chose to develop my social skills to create a sort of confidence platform to be better at all other things in life.
Become a Better Version of Me
Besides putting yourself in uncomfortable positions, it is also good to see which points you want to change about yourself and find a way to solve them. Finding discomfort reveals what you can improve about yourself and what you find important. Start with small things and work on from there. Even things unrelated to your main insecurity can help you find the confidence you have been looking for
Insecure about your body? Go to the gym
Want to become more stylish? Learn from people who are very stylish
Want to talk better to strangers? Keep talking to strangers! It is tough, but gets easier every time you do so
Want to have more to talk about? Start a new hobby or deep dive into the world of Youtube algorithms. Random trivia make for excellent conversation
Of course, developing yourself with the things mentioned above can be difficult. The best approach I found to this is to find the easiest way to do so. No need to go to the gym 5 days a week from day one of change. Start with some squats or push ups, make it a habit and increase the amount of exercises bit by bit. Starting something new is easy, but making it a habit is difficult, so make it easy for yourself to make new challenges a habit.
Moving to Japan seems very drastic, and it was, but I built up to it. I started studying Japanese before I went there for my year exchange, and after I came back, I kept studying so that I was as close to living a normal life in Japan as possible. This made the move so much easier and it helped me accept more, leaving me less frustrated. I was not perfect, but I was closer to the goal than starting from zero.
My point is that if you want to improve yourself on a certain front, you shouldn’t immediately go for the big leap. Step by step is the more sustainable way to develop yourself, so take it easy!
Keep in mind that you should become a better you, not become as good as someone else. You are unique and this is a precious thing to hold on to.
Becoming More Open Minded
Moving abroad makes you realize many things. One of the most important things is the difference between people/cultures and, for a lot of things, there is no ‘best way’. For a lot of people, Moving to Japan means moving to a place that is completely different from what they are used to.
Does this mean Japanese do everything wrong? No.
Does this mean you have been doing things wrong? No.
A different approach often leads to the same or better results, and culture is one of the best examples for that. People from different backgrounds can teach you things that you never thought of, show you things you never thought existed, make you taste foods that you wouldn’t dare to touch back home.
Not always of course, but I definitely appreciate a different approach more because I have seen a different way of thinking. All roads lead to Rome, so don’t think you are wrong or that someone else is.
Realizing these that there are more approach to many things made me more keen on trying, and also made me realize that there are many things back home that are actually really great.
Appreciate Myself More
Realizing that there are way less wrongs than you assumed before makes you appreciate yourself more too. In the Netherlands, there are many people with mixed or foreign backgrounds. A lot of different mindsets makes the Dutch approach look very ‘normal/plain’. Of course this is not the case, but you don’t realize this until you are a minority. If everyone is great at singing in your group of friends, you don’t realize how good/unique you are yourself until you join a group of people that never sing. This is the same for cultures.
When I moved to Japan I realized how unique of a place I came from. I was raised in a multi-cultural family and in Japan that is very unique. I really appreciate where I am from now because values that seem so normal to you, are not outside your own bubble or circle.
Fashion
My style definitely improved as well. I met a lot of different people with completely different styles, but fashion is one of those factors in life that can be inspired by others. Being in the same environment creates comfort, and comfort often leads to lack of development. This is definitely the case in Fashion.
The great thing about living in one of the fashion capitals of the world is that there is such a wide variety of people and communities. ‘The nail that sticks out get hammered’ is a very common saying in Japanese culture, but that doesn’t mean everyone is the same. It means that you have to 100% go for things or don’t do it at all. This also comes to dressing up. Of course there are budgets to stick to, but for every budget here are tons of options. Maybe I should write a series about styles on different budget levels…
What do you think?
Long Story Short
I think living in Tokyo has opened my eyes in many ways because of the discomfort of the unknown. Being in these situations makes you appreciate yourself and others more, while also revealing new things about what you value about yourself and others.
Make sure you go 100% in whatever you do and you will be more confident, more happy and discover many things making your life better than it ever was before.
